Trust
by Hasegawa
Summary: Charles felt the foundation of his relationship with Erik crumbled when Erik admitted he got a one night affair. it forced Charles to rethink about them and himself. Mpreg, eating disorder, abandonment issue. Erik/Charles, AU, no power.


Summary: Charles felt the foundation of his relationship with Erik crumbled when Erik admitted he got a one night affair. it forced Charles to rethink about them and himself. Mpreg, eating disorder, abandonment issue.

Pairing: Erik x Charles. No power AU.

Enjoy!

* * *

Charles was contemplating whether he should go to the gym or not that afternoon. He didn't notice it, but several of his colleagues (namely Hank and Moira) told him that he has become a bit bigger recently. Hank especially quite vocal about it, as they shared lab and the number of heavy delicate lab machineries narrowed the spaces considerably. Usually it was fine for both of them to pass through one another through the narrow path at the same time; however recently Hank or Charles needed to wait for the other before they could pass through. There was even one accident in which Charles hurt himself with the glass from broken Petri dish containing the genetically enhanced and super fertile bacteria. Since it was small cut, Charles didn't think it mattered too much, though.

Charles blamed it on Erik's cooking. They just moved in together; after a year of relationship, they decided it was the time to move in together. So Charles moved into Erik's bigger apartment (as Charles used to live inside the student housing—he was a student before and now he is a professor—but the student housing allowed him to stay as Charles used to be the heart of the party. Until he met Erik, that was). And they have lived together for eleven months now. Inside the eleven months, everything was perfect (well, quite) and Erik took charge of the kitchen as Charles was simply hopeless (he had always been pampered with first class chef—and Charles used to prefer student cheap meals over making his own, so now he was totally hopeless). Erik was an engineer, with full time job at Stark Corporation. But even with the busy schedule, he made excellent meals everytime. Charles remembered that Erik told him once about how cooking made Erik felt closer to his late mother.

So, there he was, biting his lips, wondering whether he should start going to gym—when? What time? His research and teaching schedule were packed—when Erik said the thing that turned everything upside down.

"Charles… I am sorry."

Charles blinked. He smiled. "What's up, my friend?"

"…I slept with someone two months ago."

"Excuse me?" Charles stopped smiling.

"It was just one time thing, I promise." Erik looked pained. "I didn't mean it; it was really just a one time thing. We couldn't meet much because of our schedule, and I was frustrated from work and it was convenient…"

"Who?"

Erik stopped talking. He looked down.

"…Shaw, Sebastian Shaw. He was my project manager, but now he has moved to new project, so we won't meet each other anymore. I promise. I asked Stark not to pair him up with me anymore…"

Charles didn't know what to say, or do. He couldn't believe it. "…Was there something wrong with us?" _With me? _

"No." Erik shook his head. "We are ... We were perfect. It was just a weak moment because of alcohol and pent up stress…"

Charles couldn't stand it, so he stood up and went to the door. He heard Erik calling his name, but he shook his head.

"Please give me time, Erik." He shouted as he walked through the door.

He needed to get something to soothe his mind. Everything was chaotic. It hasn't touched his emotion yet. His brain was filled with the facts of what just happened. His logical brain sorted it out one by one, and when the reality suddenly strike, Charles' eyes started to blurry and Moira was hugging him. Charles didn't know when he reached Moira's place; yet he hung onto the hug with broken heart.

* * *

He holed up in Moira apartment for a day before he finally snapped out of the emotional part of the reality. Now his brain told him to get real. It happened. Nothing changed much. As long as Erik was still with him, then it should be alright. It wasn't like Charles himself was a faithful person. He has changed boyfriends as much as he bought new cardigans. He has hurt people before. Probably ti was time he tasted what betrayal tasted like, like the karma.

But it nagged him. The fact that Erik found someone else attractive enough to fuck. Erik used to be very aloof; and asexual. Honestly, Charles was the only one out of the massive amounts of handsome patrons of the gay club to attract Erik. Erik's ex-flatmate Azazel told him Charles was the first man Erik fucked in years. Erik used to love his personality as well as his appearance. Erik always commented on how good looking, cute, handsome Charles was.

But he hasn't said that for the past… four months? Three months?

Charles then stood from the sofa where he has been moping whole day and went to the bathroom. The thing about girl's bathroom is that they always have whole body mirror. Charles then stood in front of it and was repulsed of what he saw.

He was short for his age; and that's why weight gain showed out a lot more obvious. The front of his cardigan bulged; not that he looked overweight, but he definitely had a belly. And his cheeks were rounder—he looked puffier. His eyes were bloodshot; and his hair was unkempt. His beard was unshaved. Charles used to think his beard was attractive; but age has not been kind to him, and it looked absolutely repulsive now.

No wonder Erik slept with another; Charles was too repulsive to see. Charles even felt he needed to applaud Erik to be able to keep fucking him last weekend without commenting anything about how ugly Charles looked. No wonder it finished just in one round. They used to go on like rabbits, at least two rounds per night.

How long since they stopped have active sex life, of about five to six days a week with sex? Now they only had it every other weekends… and only one round.

Charles cursed himself. He was getting too comfortable. And his research came first as he saw how good Erik was in his job, fuelling Charles to get better result for his research. He made tremendous breakthrough with his research; he has published two papers in the last year alone.

It was lucky Moira went to university as she needed to teach; so Charles wouldn't need to admit how repulsive he found himself. He quickly grabbed his jacket and went.

Gym. He must hit the gym.

* * *

Charles felt a bit better. Two hours of running the treadmill made his body felt like it would broke apart, but it satisfied his need of knowing he had done some exercise. He has taken a contract for personal trainer as well, Alex Summer, and he promised to diet now. As he entered the building, Charles realised he hasn't contacted Erik since yesterday. It was Monday today, so Erik should still be at work. Charles himself didn't have class, but he was supposed to be with Hank in the lab. Moira helped him to contact Hank, and blessed him; Hank understood and told Charles to take his time.

Deciding he needed a good bath and then rest, he entered the apartment. He was surprised to find Erik was there.

"Charles… you are back."

Charles tried to smile; yet his lips went stiff. So instead he nodded.

"I didn't… I took a day off." Erik tried to smile. "I have been waiting. I made some light meal as well, your favourite…"

Charles felt his stomach went active and his appetite immediately rose up; but he kept himself in control. He pinched his own thigh to overcome the hunger sensation with pain.

"I… I am not hungry. Thank you, Erik." Charles finally managed to smile. "You can eat first. I'll get it later."

"Charles, _liebling_; I am so sorry." Erik pleaded. He walked towards Charles. Charles let himself be hugged. Erik started to ramble. However, Charles stopped his rambling before it got too far.

"It's alright, Erik. I understand." Charles whispered. "I understand…"

_How could Erik not cheat when Charles looked so repulsive to love? _

* * *

Erik initiated sex that night; but Charles begged otherwise, stating he was quite tired. Charles actually wanted to ensure Erik was there through their body; but then he couldn't show Erik his stomach, or his puffy chest. It looked repulsive, really disgusting. So they went to bed, and Charles let Erik snuggled into him.

Neither could sleep that night.

Erik seemed to try to both apologise and thanked Charles for forgiving him by doing romantic stuffs. He brought Charles flowers, cooked some excellent dinner, asking him for a night out—all paid and planned by Erik. However Charles found it bothersome; he needed more time in the gym; he didn't want to eat too much; he didn't want to drink too much (like he always did whenever they went on a date) and he really thought Erik shouldn't be doing anything, because everything wasn't his fault anyway; it was Charles'. Charles was touched; of course, since Erik wasn't the type to do romantic things (even in their first valentine or anniversary, Erik only gave him a kiss and hot sex, but no flower or dinner shits).

So Charles started to find himself going to toilets after each meal, trying to gorge out the food from his throat. He pretended to drink and poured the wine onto other glasses when Erik didn't see, or throw them altogether into the sink. He spent time in the gym, increasingly from three days a week (recommended by his new personal trainer, Alex Summer) to six days a week (which Alex didn't recommend, and always suggested Charles to keep it down).

Charles knew it wasn't healthy. He knew he was exhibiting the textbook symptom of eating disorder. But Charles was smart, a genius even. He knew how to was only doing this to reduce his weight. To make himself more attractive. Especially since Erik was the embodiment of everything hot. Erik was tall, slim, muscular and strong. Handsome as well. It was just unbeatable. Charles needed this, otherwise he wouldn't be good enough to stay next to Erik.

The first three weeks were the hardest—he sometimes forgot what he was doing or thinking or going to say because the low sugar level in his blood. He also started to feel clammy and with cold sweat every time he skipped meal or managed to gorge everything down the toilet. Sometimes he was so out of breath that Alex suggested to stop training for the day; but Charles Xavier was nothing but a man of determination.

The only thing he regretted was his current inability to enjoy Erik's cooking. It was too delicious, so Charles started to suggest eating out, bought ready made stuffs, or even trying to cook it himself. He felt so guilty when he forced vomit Erik's cooking when Erik actually cooked. He hoped Erik would never know. Charles felt so impolite towards the memory of Eddie, Erik's late mother. It made him so guilty until he tried to compensate it through other things, like making Erik breakfast, giving Erik blow job in the morning, fetching Erik from the train station even though it was raining heavily.

Their sex life improved; Erik started as quiet and apologetic to Charles, yet Charles told him he really didn't mind. Charles sincerely told Erik he was glad Erik told him, and as long as it won't happen in the future, then everything is fine. People make mistakes, they are not perfect. As long as Erik still wanted Charles, it would be fine.

His research also started to show up good result; they found that the bacteria actually could benefit people with infertility condition. Aside from being compatible with pig body (not human tested as yet), it also has the capability to induce fertilisation in pigs. Within the short period of three months, all their male pigs actually got pregnant with real foetus inside them (they checked using ultraviolet). It was so groundbreaking that Charles spent almost all his time—neglecting his classes—to focus on the experiment.

However, Charles started to feel the toll on his body. He was constantly weak and tired; he refused to eat though, so he made do with plain water and occasional garden salad with no dressing. He couldn't focus enough to lecture for the whole hour; instead he needed to take short break throughout. He also needed to sit down while giving lecture. His voice was weaker, so he resorted to the mike provided in the lecture hall. Charles also preferred to sit down throughout the lab session, and then he would hit the gym and forced Alex to increase his regime.

Three months after he started to hit the gym, Charles felt his eyes blurred as he climbed the stairs to the gym. He blinked and rubbed his eyes hard. It passed as quickly as it came, so Charles ignored it. But he ensured he got a glass of milk afterward, just to be careful. His belly was still prominent; but his weight has dropped. Alex reassured him that probably Charles' body was the kind who lost weight quickly but hard to change the body size.

Charles happily accepted the verdict and continued his regime—until that night when Erik told him he didn't look good. Charles shrugged it off with easy smile and assured his boyfriend that he was in perfect health. Erik then sat beside him and asked him to try the mince pie he made. Charles blinked, thinking on how he could avoid it—or how he should cover his vomiting voice in the bathroom afterward. Erik put the pie before Charles finished thinking, as an act of couple feeding; and it shocked Charles so much he slapped Erik's hand away, and then vomited out everything from his mouth. It tasted sinfully good, though.

Erik looked shocked and hurt; so Charles immediately salvaged the situation by apologising and tried to get Erik in the mood to fuck. It didn't quite work, but they went to bed hugging each other, so Charles counted it as a win anyway. He was relieved when Erik could actually take him bridal style to the bed. His hard work finally started to pay off.

Good.

* * *

It only lasted that night. The next morning, Charles was teaching his genetic class when everything suddenly tilted, and went black. When he could see again, Charles found himself on the floor, surrounded by panicking students and a few health officers. They took him by ambulance to the hospital, and Charles found himself being inserted into the MRI machine.

Wondering why he should enter MRI when he could just do x ray or ultrasonic, Charles waited impatiently on the bed. They have taken his clothes and phone, so he was without entertainment. He fiddled with his hand, and found it a bit bonier than it used to be. He then realised that his arms were smaller, and the vessels were more defined. Interesting.

The doctor came to his cubicle with Hank and Erik following behind him. Charles smiled to both of them, but they looked grave. Charles stopped smiling and tilted his head; asking "Is there something wrong?"

"Charles," Hank asked, "do you remember the accident in the lab with the petri dish a few months back?"

Charles nodded.

"Apparently it … it infiltrated your body and then… How to say this… You are currently pregnant with a four months old baby."

"Right," Charles guffawed. He laughed hard. "That's a nice joke, Hank! We can use this in the opening of our thesis report! It would be groovy!"

But Hank didn't smile; he looked concerned instead. "…I am afraid I am not joking, Charles."

Charles felt something break inside him. His chest started to pain. "…What?" he asked weakly. He turned to Erik, and there it was, the evidence of the truth. Erik looked serious and grave. Charles realised the man hasn't talked at all.

Was he contemplating to break up with Charles?

The doctor then took over with the MRI scan results, but Charles was too upset to pay attention. He has just managed to salvage his relationship, his first serious relationship with a great man who actually cared about him (unlike his family, but anyway they were not even worthy to mention even in Christmas) through hard work, and now this little bacteria made him unnaturally pregnant with a baby.

Wait.

The father of the baby…. Must be Erik.

Right?

When finally the whole conversation ended (Hank and the doctor looked like they were ready to elope and went to the lab together—they were more excited and more concerned about the situation than Charles was), they left Charles with Erik only.

Charles bit his lips. How should he break the news…

"The child is mine." Erik stated. Or was he asking? Either way, Erik didn't look happy, and it pained Charles. Was the prospect of having a child with him seemed to be that bad?

Trying to control himself, Charles nodded.

"Of course it is yours. I have only slept with you for the past two years, Erik."

Erik looked pained for a bit. Charles blinked. Why? And then he realised he unwittingly reminded Erik of his one-night affair. Charles however, didn't have the will and energy to let Erik knew he didn't mind, so he shrugged.

"What do you want to do with it?" Erik asked again.

Charles sighed. "I am not sure. But most probably I would take an abortion."

Erik paled. "No. No, Charles… That's…"

Charles raised his eyebrow. "What? Don't you think it's weird that me, a man, is pregnant? I don't have much time for this anymore, and you are busy as well! Not to mention it won't have a good family support, as I was raised in a loveless family and you…" Charles closed his mouth. He just realised the truth.

"Me what, Charles?" Erik seemed to come to the same conclusion.

_Unfaithful. _

Charles looked away. "My apology. I thought I can… I said I have forgiven you, but apparently I can't do it."

"Charles…"

"Can you do it? Stay even though the baby would not be cute or good or positive all the time? You cheated because I looked ugly, and guess what, Erik, with this baby, I would gain much more weight! I saw how big the pig became when they were pregnant! You won't be able to stomach me that big, Erik. You'll just …"

Erik looked livid. "What? What would I do?"

"...Ignore me. Like my dear mother and step-father do." Charles looked down. "and you'll leave me alone with a baby I don't even know how to take care of."

Erik grabbed Charles' hand. It was quite painful, honestly.

"Charles. Listen. I was weak that time, because of alcohol and stress. I wouldn't cheat, I wont leave you. I know my promises are empty promises on your ears, but I truly mean it. And recently… recently I notice you became thinner and fragile, is this why? You think I cheated because I hate the way you look?"

Charles looked at Erik wearily. "Didn't you?"

"No. I love seeing you enjoying my cooking. I love seeing you becoming bigger because you are happy with me and you like my cooking. I don't mind your size or body, Charles. Honestly."

"Don't lie to me, Erik. Don't you realise how seldom our sex live has become? You won't even touch me anymore, and I know you only fucked me the past few months because you feel guilty about your affair."

Erik's eyes searched for Charles', and they found pain in each other's eyes.

"I need you, Erik." Charles whispered. "I can't lose you. I will forgive everything you do, even if you have more affairs or if you want me to look better, so just… just please stay."

Erik cared more about him than his family all combined; it was Erik that let Charles to believe that monogamy actually works and even though Charles was gay, he could find true love as well. Just like how his late father used to love him and his mother.

"Then I need to ask you to believe me, Charles." Erik whispered back. Their forehead met. "Believe me that I won't leave you, or having any affair again. Please let me take care of you… and please let us keep the baby. … I have been wishing for a family, and Charles, you grant me everything that I wanted."

Charles slowly tilted to kiss Erik, who sat on the side of the bed. They kissed slowly and when they finally separated, Charles asked, "Then why don't you seem to like me anymore? To find me attractive anymore?"

"It was because you were so busy and tired from your research. Remember how Hank always asked you to come early for the lab before you taught your morning class? I don't feel good taking your precious rest time just because of my personal need."

"Silly! That is not…" Charles protested, but then he realised that there was no point arguing abut what has passed. They went into silence for a moment.

"So… you want me to keep it?" Charles asked. Erik shrugged while still holding Charles' hand.

"I will follow whatever your decision is. I would love to have family with you, but we can definitely do other things to get that. I just want you to be happy, that's all."

Charles nodded. He knew his answer already. It seemed so simple, now that he has understood what Erik thought about the whole situation. He shook his head, and then pulled Erik towards him for another kiss.

Then the doctor returned to the room, breaking the moment. He reported Charles' current unhealthy body weight, especially with a baby inside him. Erik found out about Charles' eating disorder and immediately swore to help Charles returned back to normal. The doctor recommended Charles to reduce his regime and gain weight, especially if he wanted to keep the baby.

Charles saw the determination in Erik's eyes, and he knew he got all that he needed to get better.

* * *

"Mommy, mommy, look!" the boy—David—tugged Charles' shirt and pointed to the huge Christmas tree in the middle of the mall. "Big tree!'

"Yes, darling." Charles smiled and patted his son's hair. "It's Christmas tree."

"Can I have one this year?" David asked. Charles smiled.

"Yes of course. But you need to ask daddy before we have one, because daddy may have different way to celebrate Christmas." It was only early December, but the mall and every other place have started to decorate with Christmas themed stuffs.

"What is it?" Erik came from behind them, with two pack of groceries on both hands. "What do you want to ask me?"

"Daddy! Can we have tree this year too?"

Erik smiled. "Well, we can, but Daddy would like to introduce you to Hanukkah as well."

"Hanukkah?" the boy asked, and Charles chuckled.

"Lets go home first, then we can discuss further." He kissed David's forehead. The boy was his—their—little bundle of joy. After having David, Charles slowly managed to curb the disorder and returned to normal. The boy brought blessings, and now everyday was kind of fun. Recently Charles' mother has learned about the existence of her grandson, and even though she wasn't too excited, but she expressed interest to actually get closer to her son and grandson. Which Charles didn't accept very well, but Erik tried his hardest to be a referee between the mother and estranged son.

Charles straightened up and found Erik standing beside him, smiling and asking for a kiss too. It made Charles laughed; and he gladly complied with the wish.

It was truly a wonderful Christmas.

* * *

End.

A bit too simple, but I am trying to reduce the number of unfinished story under my list. Did you enjoy it?


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